So quit trying to be; with the tragic recent passing of Mick Norcross we are once again reminded of that very real statistic that lingers around young men in this day and age. Stop beating yourself up trying to be perfect you are searching for a reality that doesn’t exist. In our society today we are surrounded by images of perfection on Instagram and Facebook, reading articles and books about how to be the perfect parent, how to be the perfect son, how to be the perfect husband – perfect perfect perfect, but in reality we live in a world where perfect is an unrealistic expectation, social media influencers lives portrayed with filters, edited to create perfection and portraying happiness that is more than often masking despair, as humans we all have imperfections , the best we can do is ensure the that the people around us, our loved ones and the people that care about us the most are not let down by us, try our best after all we only human.
I often hear people say “I’m not perfect, I just try my best” but who told them perfect was what we all needed to be? You can drive yourself mad searching for perfection, it can be an insatiable mission one riddled with failure, a never ending pursuit with no chance of finishing, so stop trying, don’t try to be perfect, stop pretending you are instead take stock of everything you have around you, all your achievements, everything you hold dear, ensure your children are smiling, live in the moment forget what anyone else tells you about being a parent ignore what your parents tell you, you don’t need that pressure! we are unique in our own strange ways, what worked for your parents / Aunty / Best Friend etc won’t always work for you. The philosopher Aristotle marked out our differences over 2,000 years ago. We are “rational animals” pursuing knowledge for its own sake. We live by art and reasoning, he wrote, we must therefore make our own path.
My advice is to just enjoy the ride, having kids is a challenge that nobody or nothing prepares you for it’s a start at a new life, your life is forever changed and so with it you must evolve, forget the person you were before you had children, this is an opportunity to reinvent yourself be the best version of you there is, your goal as a parent should ultimately be to make your child’s life better than yours, remember that your life hasn’t ended ,a new one has just begun.
And to quote Ady from my Virtual Social #1 podcast “always remember things are never as bad as you think they are”
If you haven’t already please check out my latest podcast with Dean and if you could be so kind as to subscribe to my Youtube channel so I can continue to give a voice to dads all over.
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