9/11 – 20 Years On

Shall we talk about 9/11?  or is It still too painful to revisit all of that suffering on the anniversary of the attacks.

On September 11th 2001, America was rocked by a series of terrorist attacks committed in New York City and Washington DC by Al-Qaeda. It was the deadliest attack ever carried out on American soil and it led to years and years of wars and conflicts across the Middle East (most notably Iraq).

We talk about 9/11 every year around this time, but we never really do anything significant to remember or honour those that were killed 20 years ago today. We just say “never forget” like it’s some kind of mantra people go through their lives saying without actually meaning what they’re saying…

Today we will talk about.

I was 16 years old on September 11th, 2001. Two decades later and I still don’t remember anything as clearly as that Tuesday lunchtime (here in the UK). I remember having just started my college years, having just finished high school 3 months earlier. The day started like any other, I got the bus from Grantham to Lincoln early! I used to catch the 7:05am that would get me into Lincoln just after 8:30am. At lunch times we used to go The Duke Of Wellington pub for a free game of pool and a glass of coke. whilst lining up my shot I watched as the news reported that a plane had accidentally collided with one of the towers of the World Trade Centre “wow” I remember thinking to myself.  “that pilot must have messed up big time”.

When the news presenter said it was a small plane I turned to my mate and said “what would be the chance of 2 planes colliding?” At this point we were glued to the screen as the second plane hit the second tower.  I was like “what is going on?” and we watched and talked about it and were shocked at the scene. It was then that they mentioned that it had been a deliberate attack I just couldn’t believe this, who would want to do such a thing, why? As a 16 year old just starting out in the world, you’ve spent your life thus far being sheltered from terrorists and atrocities like what happened in New York on this day, as a child, because let’s face it that’s what you are at 16, you just don’t think that this is something that could happen at all, it was a stark lesson in life and death. 

20 years on and we remember them, we remember the victims of that day, we will never forget.

The United States of America holds a special place in my heart. While I am not an American, the U.S has given me countless opportunities to explore its land and meet wonderful people from all walks of life some of whom have become family members over time through their unique stories that are so relatable despite our cultural differences.

I have a personal connection to America, and my goal is one day calling it my home because of this close relationship with its people, so what happens in the US matters to me.

Watching programs like “9/11: Phone Calls from the Towers” makes the severity of what was happening all those stories up hit home, innocent people going about their daily work, some going in for the first day, some just going to clear a desk for the last!  All in all, normal people doing their normal thing.

The one thing that strikes me is the courage shown by both civilians and emergency services workers who put themselves at risk to help others. I’m sure you’ve seen the videos of people jumping out windows to escape what felt like certain death either by fire or suffocation/asphyxiation. The first responders like Orio Palmer who climbed to the  78th floor to help evacuate occupants when he could have just left them in the hands of God. These people are heroes and deserve to be remembered as such. 

9/11 is a day that will be remembered for years to come. The world changed that day and we all know it has only become worse in the years since. Whilst there hasn’t been an attack on that scale , terrorism has shown itself to still be a very real threat in the modern world.

I hope that one day we will reach a point where these attacks are isolated and nothing more than small pockets of noise that barely makes the 10th page. 

For now we remember and honour the victims and heroes and pray that it will be a peaceful future for all.

Stay blessed everybody and have a fantastic day.  

Musical beds

Sounds like a fun game you used to play in your early twenties right? Well this isn’t the musical beds I’m talking about. Musical beds is the game some parents play when they have a toddler, right now you could almost set your watch to it, 12:30 most nights and we hear the pitta patter of small feet out of his bed, across the landing before flinging open our bedroom door, In to our bed comes the boy before shimming up down left right in the bed causing one of us to end up on the sofa or even in his bed and lets face it, its usually me! 

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Pexels.com

We both understand the importance of getting him back in his bed and sleeping on his own but in those moments at 12:30 all you want to do is sleep so allow him to get in with you, this is where the musical beds game starts. This is something we are struggling with at the moment, its nearly every night, how to make your toddler sleep through the night has been googled a billion times by me, yet I am still non the wiser. Its hard as like I have said before on the podcast many times, every child is so different, your child is like a Rubix cube and your the ape holding it, there is seemingly no cheat code for it you’ve just got to do your best.

This is my own opinion on the musical beds game however, I think you must, no matter how tired you are get them back in their own bed, the short term pain will be worth the long time effects, if you do not and you allow your child to just get in bed with you each evening, they will continue to do so, nigh t after night and you will end up sleeping apart from your partner, creating a big disconnect, I talk a lot about the importance of communication with your partner and working on your relationship this starts with sleeping together. What happens if during the day you have become those passing ships I have talked about before, meaning the only time you actually get together is in bed, now your not even sleeping together your on the sofa or sleeping in the baby bed, do you think your relationship is going to prosper from this? Get the baby back to bed! It won’t be long before he or she has stopped coming in to get in bed with you if they know they can’t. As a parent you have to set clear boundaries for your children and stick to them. 

Stay blessed everybody and have a fantastic day.  

Herbalife Nutrition

When I was younger, I always took very good care of my body. However as the years passed by and life got more hectic, with work piling up to deal with on top of balancing a social life; unfortunately this resulted in neglecting my health for too long. Thankfully Herbalife Nutrition entered into play at just the right time! With their nutrition plans combined with fitness regimes ensured that not only did I re-gain control over what goes inside me but also made sure everyone around me noticed how different & fit/healthy looking i’ve become!

The words “something has changed my life” are often banded about, but Herbalife Nutrition really did change mine. Like I said I grew up with a healthy and active lifestyle; however as an adult, I was consumed by food and alcohol consumption. A night out with the boys 8 weeks ago made me sit up and notice how big I was getting. When reviewing some photos from that evening, it really hit home to me just how much weight I had gained. It’s one thing knowing you’re not in great shape but seeing a photo of yourself makes it real like nothing else can do!

After sitting down and thinking about my situation (and after making lots of bad decisions), this year is going to be different for me; no more excuses – only action will help now as we head into summer!”

After bumping into an old friend, I approached him about coming on my podcast. During this recording he told me that Herbalife is not just a diet; it’s a lifestyle change! He also went over how their entire business model works and what makes them different from other weight loss supplements out there today. Of course, at the time I was very skeptical because I had tried nearly every diet under the sun before–but after doing some research of my own online for two weeks straight (while continuing to consume all kinds of junk food), Steven came back with results showing his body composition changes in less than 30 days using only these products…so naturally I jumped ship immediately and joined up myself shortly thereafter!

Making this decision has had a huge effect on my life, it’s only been about 8 weeks and I’ve already noticed some changes. For one thing, I’ve lost weight; clothes that were too tight are now fitting comfortably again. More importantly though, the mental state change is something that makes me feel more confident in myself than ever before!

If you are looking at losing weight or just want to get through the day with more energy then I can help. Since joining myself, I have already helped 3 others lose weight using Herbalife products! They worked for me so they will work for you too. And since my goal is not profit but rather helping people like me feel healthier and happier everyday..I am sharing my discount with new users because im here to make a difference in your life as well. Ask me about Herbalife’s discount code and I can share it with you.

You can use this link below to browse the products, but remember these prices are not the prices you will pay with my discount!


Why were we in Afghanistan again?

3500+ brave men and women from allied armed forces have tragically lost their lives since the war in Afghanistan started on the 7th of October 2001, yet, watching the scenes unfold like they have over the past few days, I am left scratching my head wondering, what was it all for? Why did we just waste 3500 lives to simply hand the country back to the men we were defending it from? we invaded Afganistan because they refused to hand over Bin Laden right? Hardly seems like a valid reason to cause the likely imminent death of thousands of women and children, doubtlessly caught up in the fighting. The UN reports that 2021 had been the most deadly year for civilian casualties with 5000 men, women and children being killed, So why walk away now? So many questions, with seemingly the same amount of reasons for leaving as the reasons for entering. 

If you listen to the Americans then they tell you that the objective of the war was “to diminish the capability of Al-Qaeda to wage war on the streets of the allied nations” I.e another 9/11, yet one can’t help but recall the countless terror attacks across Europe, from Charlie Hebdo in Paris to London 7/7 bombings, with tonnes more in-between,  now of course the government will tell you that its not Al-Qaeda, its ISIS or the Taliban or Boko Haram but You say tomato, I say tomato, what’s the real difference? They all have aim of bringing Islam to the world.

I don’t have an answer, I actually have no idea its very easy to sit in my castle in leafy Cheshire preaching what the government should do, but I can’t help but think the that way they have pulled out of Afghanistan is nothing short of disastrous. Now I fully understand Joe Bidens point when he says “why should we fight when the Afghans won’t” i am totally onboard with that statement, but the sad reality is the Afghan army was not ready to take over the fight from the Americans. Whilst I agree fundamentally our lads and ladies shouldn’t be in the Middle East, the facts remain that they are, a quick look on YouTube at some of the Afghan Armies training videos and it would be clear to a 6th grader let alone our highly steamed military commanders that these guys were not up to it, they could barely march in formation, how are they going to fight a Taliban army that has been sharpening its tools in the theatre against the biggest most powerful army in the world for the last 20 years. I can’t help but feel that if you make your bed, you should lie in it, Afghanistan is a bed well and truly laid, yet we have just upped and left, and seemingly we are leaving the Taliban with all our weapons and vehicles to further attack our allies with. Not to mention the hundreds or thousands of people that are now going to suffer under a new Taliban rule. 

The scenes broadcast across the world this week of people fleeing at the airport, clinging too Aeroplanes and in some cases falling to their deaths was all too painful to watch, panic and desperation setting in for what they are about to be put through under Taliban rule. Afghanistan had started rebuilding, Women were being educated, they could go out in public alone (imagine that) between 2001 and 2021 Afghanistan experienced improvements in health, education, women rights, the average life expectancy increased, 5 million refugees returned to the country, and all for what? For us to hand it back to the Taliban, the Taliban are saying they will respect this new world yet with the sight of the women on shop billboards being painted over you can’t help but feel that what the Taliban say and what they Taliban do are two very different things. It really brings it home to me, It makes you think that what we have been going through here and complaining about the lock downs or the closure of pubs is all trivial in comparison, it pails in comparison to what these people are going to experience, so bad that you would rather cling to the bottom of a plane and face what is almost certain death, than stay and live under more Taliban rule.

I just hope and pray that the people that have helped and worked with our soldiers from translators to cleaners that would clearly be punished for the crime of helping foreign troops are given the sanctuary that them and there families need, because our boys and girls wouldn’t have been able to do their work without them. I understand the Taliban has “said” there is an amnesty for those workers, but you only have to see what’s been happening in the districts around Kabul to know that, that is a load of BS.

The British government has said they will take a measly 20,000 afghan refugees, but the mess we have been a part of causing it hardly seems like a drop in the ocean of the numbers we should be taking. And for the record my views on immigration are fairly conservative I’m not a huge fan of large waves of people being able to just freely enter the country (but that’s a chat for another day) but if you went and burnt somebody’s house down I think you should be expected to house them until it was safe to return. 

I will end this by again paying tribute to the brave men and women that have lost their lives in this 20 years war. 3500 parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles that will never see these brave soldiers again. And to the rest of you, we thank you for your service.


Stop pretending; We go through life on this tiny rock flying through space pretending to be who we are, showing the world a face ,a side ,a persona that isn’t true to you. Most of us never find that happiness that comes from being ones true self, we are always searching for that something else “if I only I got XXXX I could be that, if only I had XXXX I could get that, if XXXX didn’t happen to me I would of made this of my life” it’s human nature to want what we don’t have, most people don’t take any accountability for their own life choices, everything is always somebody else’s fault. 

  • You didn’t graduate from University because somebody died,
  • You didn’t make it as a footballer because because you got injured,
  • You didn’t get the job because the managers hired their friend,

Excuses after excuse.. you didn’t get it because you didn’t work hard enough, plain and simple. Stop pretending, stop living a lie be happy with what you have got and if you can’t be happy with what you have, then change it.

Many of us are not successful by the definition they take from others, yet are wholly successful from what they want in life, when we actually look at it. 

For some people a teacher doesn’t represent success, most teachers doesn’t drive a nice car or live in a big house, but for that teacher the greatest gift in life to them is too teach! You see, stop projecting your idea of success on others, you know nothing of their circumstances their dreams or their drive. 

Stop pretending life is perfect when you know deep down its not, life is about moments, and if your living this fantasy life you may miss your moment, in life there are moments when opportunities present themselves, you just have to take that leap of faith and jump. 

Spot your opportunity, I took my mine I stopped pretending, I saw my window and I changed my story… My life was mapped out much differently to the one I live now, I grew up in a council house and left school with no real qualification, my first few years of work saw me working in Tesco and factories around Grantham, if im truly honest my life sucked! But I decided this can’t be my life, I told myself “I am destined for greatness”

Growing up success for me looked like a 40k salary, a Mercedes and a house I owned, I’d look at that pictures and say wow.. I have exceed my expectation and some, but because I saw my window and went for it. I don’t write this to brag or willie wave, but to show you can change the destiny of your story. 

Sometimes life beats you up, knocks you down and that’s ok because it’s what we do after that struggle that defines us, many of us take those knocks sit and cry but I chose to fight. 

Please check out our latest podcast:

Wanting material goods

Wanting material goods Is fine, as long as you want them for the right reasons.. I used to be THAT GUY! you know the type, the guy that wears the flashy clothes, the flashy watches and drives the car he can’t really afford, and I did it all for you! Out of some unrealistic expectation that by having all those things, this will somehow make people like me, its like being at school isn’t it? all the popular kids have the best things, you know the best phones, the best clothes, the best shoes – I always remember at school wanting a pair of Kickers shoes, but my mothers bless her just couldn’t afford them, I was desperate for a pair! thinking that if I could only get these shoes maybe I would become more popular.. silly right? But this is how we are… As fallible humans we are so consumed with what other people think about us, that we often do things to project an image that isn’t often us, we project what we think the world wants to see. Through this year of discovery I have learned that non of it matters, nobody cares about you as much as you think so stop playing to the crowd, stop listening to the noise.

I have been reading a lot about Stoic Philosophy recently, according to Stoics all people are manifestations of the one universal spirit and should live in brotherly love and readily help one another. Stoicism teaches the development of self control and fortitude as a means of overcoming destructive emotions; the philosophy holds that becoming a clear and unbiased thinker allows one to understand the universal reason. What this means to me put simply is that I have learnt to ignore outside influence and just focus on me and what makes me happy. This isn’t to say that I will now not buy material things, but now I feel I am in a space where I am buying them for the right reason, the reason that I want or like it the item as opposed to “this item may make me look better” remember this… nobody cares more than you that you are sat in first class, so why take the selfie. 

The take away for me has been; trying to make less emotional decisions, try to focus more on me and what I truly want, but importantly try to help others, this is why Nobody Cares About Dad was born, with the sole aim to help others. This past year speaking to men and women all over the world has helped open my thinking to a whole different level, taking on bits of advice from people as I have gone, Its been reinvigorating for my soul. 

The bible says in Matthew 7:12 – “So in everything, do unto others what you would have them do to you” wouldn’t the world be a much better place if people actually behaved this way?

Stay blessed everybody and have a fantastic day. 

Please check out one of our latest videos Dads v Military PT

Cutting the TV in half

We have two TVs in this house, one in the kitchen one in the front room, so what happens when you can’t stand what your wife watches on TV or your wife can’t stand what you watch on TV? Easy answer, one of us watches tv in the front room and one of us watches TV in the kitchen, right? 

Having a child you seldom get time to yourself as it is, so the evenings when the bambino is in bed, if you separate into two separate rooms when do you get time together? I have friends who tell me they often don’t sit together In the evening and whilst sometimes that’s understandable, as a parent you need to make time for each other, so this is where the art of compromise comes in. If you do not spend time together you begin to drift and become like passing ships in the night, saying morning and night with not much in between. 

We have done it (me and Carli) we get so wrapped up in work and parenting that sometimes you forget the reason you had children together in the first place, the reason is you really like each other! But you have forgotten how to speak together, I remember a time a while back where we had got so wrapped up in our own lives that ones night after putting Nardo to bed we sat on our bed and talked for like an hour, after it your left with the sense of “oh yeah, I really like you” its not that you have been thinking the opposite you just haven’t taken the time to sit and talk, sit and reflect, its so important as a couple. Like I said before parenting isn’t easy, in fact its very hard and time consuming and if you allow it too your relationship can become an after thought, which is where it can start to go wrong.

We work on everything! our appearance, the food we are going to eat, work, our friends, your kids, the golf swing! Etc, Yet… many of us neglect and therefore take for granted arguably the most important person, your partner. 

So don’t sit in different rooms because you don’t like what each other watches, compromise, watch something she / he likes,  if you don’t think its great then get a book out use an iPad like all my post’s on Facebook (do that anyway) but stay in the same room at least, don’t take for granted that the relationship you have now will always be there, relationships take work, they take perseverance, and most of all compromise. 

Stay blessed everybody and have a fantastic day. 

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Fatherhood Movie

Click here for the audio version ^

I have just finished watching the movie Fatherhood on Netflix and right from the start let me tell you that I am not a Kevin Hart fan, in fact I put this movie on 3 days ago and turned it off after the first scene when I noticed it was Kevin Hart laying on the bed. But Saturday movie night and my wife suggests “lets watch this new movie Fatherhood”(eyes roll) 

Fatherhood is based on the heartbreaking true story of Matthew Logelin and is based on a memoir of love “two kisses for Maddy” 

The film starts with the death of Matthew Logelin’s wife, Matthew played by my favourite actor Kevin Hart. Matthew has just lost his wife we soon come to learn that the death of his wife happens shortly after the birth of their daughter suffering a pulmonary embolism. Dealing with this tragedy alone would be difficult but with the added responsibility of a new born baby,  you have all the makings of a story going off the rails quickly. Fortunately for Matthew it seems that his mother and mother in law (no matter how annoying they can be) are on hand to give the grieving husband and struggling new father a lifeline in those first few difficult months. 

At this point let me interject a few points here 1: let me go ahead and say that this movie plays into all the negative stereotypes of men and being a father or indeed a single father, Matthew is often told he can’t do it, shouldn’t do it and one scene in particular when he walks into a parenting group and is told that it just for women, as a father and a dad blogger these are all the things that I hear from men all over the world, men who get in touch with me and share with me their lived experiences of being a dad.. for my money most of the time parenting done properly requires a mother and father. And I say most of the time because of course I am aware that same sex couples do have children but the same applies it requires two parents equally. 

And secondly, doing some reading on this film shortly after I watched it, all the noise I was hearing from other bloggers and reviewers was all about the fact that Matthew Logelin was being played by a black man, I mean.. I’m not really sure how that is relevant to the story? This film is about the message and is relevant to every man in every corner of the planet black or white! Can people not relate to this story because it was played by a black American man? Hamilton the biggest and soon the be the most successful musical of all time is a story of white American men and is played by Black and Puerto Rican men and women, and they rap! Would that musical be better with an all white cast? It would arguably be worse, so why does it matter. 


Anyway I digress, back to the movie review

Shortly after the funeral Matthews mother in law pitches the idea of Maddy (the new baby) being raised by them in Minnesota rather than with Matthew in Boston, not being from the states I had to Google the distance between Boston and Minissota and its a 22 hour drive! If my mother in law suggested my son was to move a 22 hour drive from me she would get much shorter shrift than our mate Matty gave her in this movie. 

There is a really touching scene with Matthews father in law, in which he gives him some advice about bringing up kids – “let go, look as a parent we do all this shit trying to make things perfect, but we don’t have any control, we just have to accept that fact” what a perfect way to sum it up and its something I talk about a lot and have written about in my blog ,nobody is perfect. 

Going back to work Matthew is given some flexible time by his boss who starts with the negative stereotypes of a man not being able to raise a child, he says a man can’t raise a child because we don’t have “patience, emotional vunerability and…. breasts” I can assure you men have breasts sir. 

One of the real positives of this movie is Matthews friend Jordan (played by Lil Rel Howery – he is very witty and the timing of his quips are fantastic throughout )

Lil Rel Howery

We are then given a whistle stop tour of the first year of parenting, dirty nappies, vomit, feeding, the crying..oh the crying.. it never stops.. Matthew is introduced to the parent sanity saving device of white noise… apparently it replicates the sounds the baby hears in the womb so comforts the child.. incredible really. And putting down a stroller, as simple as this sounds both me and my wife both couldn’t figure it out at first, it’s not easy. 

The story really highlights the brotherhood and bond between men, Matthews friends are extremely supportive of him, it reminds us that real brotherhood is unbreakable and your real brothers will always be there to have your back. 

Matthew goes to a new parent support group , when he walks into the room they assume he is there for an AA meeting, he is initially turned away and is told that its a group for mothers – Matthew reminds them that it is a group for parents and that men are parents too. 

One of the things that the movie misses that the book shares is that the pregnancy wasn’t easy and Liz spent several weeks in and out of hospital, in the movie the day before and just after the birth Liz looks incredible! In fact a little too good for a woman who has just given birth and is about to die. 

One of the saddest scenes in this movie is when Maddy has a sleep over at her friends house, during bed time Maddy watches her friend be put to be by her mother and the warmth and love shown to her friend doesn’t go un noticed by Maddy and she looks really saddened by what she see’s.. This reminds me of my childhood and watching my friends interact with their fathers, I think they capture the emotion in this scene remarkably well. 

For me this is one of Kevin Harts best movies, he doesn’t over act it he’s not telling a joke every two seconds and you can feel the bond he has with his daughter Maddy, you also get to see the strife and mental torture he goes through when deciding to move on and introduce a new partner to your child, this can never be easy especially when one parent has tragically passed, I think the film does a really good job of showing the mental ups and downs Matthew was going through during this period. Some people rush to introduce new partners to their children which is in my mind extremely selfish as a large percentage of these relationships don’t last. 

The only part of this film I really disliked was when he decides to leave Maddy with his mother in law, watching and reading scenarios like this I can only put myself in the shoes of a father and there is no situation I could imagine that I would willing to allow my boy to go and live with someone else, Matthew wasn’t really struggling, he had a good job looking at his house , earning good money, yes she doesn’t have family around her but surely when you’ve lost your mother having your father around has to be the number one priority. 

This is a warm, heartfelt story of a father trying his very best to bring up his daughter in a world that tells him he can’t do it as good as a women. Like I have mentioned before since starting Nobody Cares About Dad this is the narrative I hear all over the world, guys we have to continue to be good role models to our children, be emotional, be vulnerable and be involved, together we can normalise this story not demonise. 

I would definitely recommend giving it a watch 4 out of 5 stars for me 

Greed is the biggest virus’s to hit this planet

We tell ourself that capitalism is the way forward, governments ram it down your throat that democracy is the mother of all great ideas, “ignore the socialist’s forget communism” you’ll often hear our politicians spew from their lips, but is it? A capitalist society breeds greed, it feeds a narrative of take take take, we’ve forgotten about helping each other as we are so consumed with money and material things that we have forgotten the fundamental basics! Help one another.

Let’s look at communism, communism says in its most simplistic form, let’s group the wealth and share it with all, but this leads to a small percentage at the top having all the wealth and “sharing it” out to the rest, look at Russia, China, North Korea, examples of the haves and the have nots, are the poorest in those countries benefiting from this collective redistribution of wealth? No, because of greed. 

Photo by Gerhard Lipold on Pexels.com

Now let’s look at socialism at its core the main focus of socialism is the elimination of rich and poor socioeconomic classes by distributing wealth equally, to accomplish this the government controls the labour market. Socialism doesn’t not work because it ignores the fundamentals of human behaviour, “incentive” Socialism tends to start well but soon collapses in on its self.

And then with have capitalism, capitalism! The Bastian of the western world.. Capitalism is an economic system based on free markets and limited Government involvement so the complete opposite to communism right? Or is it? Communism is about the 1% controlling the rest, in capitalism that’s what eventually happens anyway. By allowing “free markets” the big eventually crush the small, look at the way the high street has been dismantled over the years, companies now like Amazon, Google, Facebook control almost every aspect of your life, the top 1% have more wealth the 43% of the world! And our government whilst they have “less involvement” are in bed with these wealthy one percent for their own political / wealth creation gains, Tony Blair and Hillary Clinton giving speeches around the world for £500k a pop, the political elite in bed with the 1% for one reason and one reason alone Greed. 

We have forgotten what it means to be human, compassion, suffrage, emotion, helping one another, the wealth and satisfaction you get from helping others.  

In the Bible, it is said that a rich man entering heaven is like a camel entering the eye of a needle, which clearly is impossible right?. If you imagine that heaven is a point in space then this makes little sense, but if you equate, for academic purposes, that heaven, Nirvana, and enlightenment are the same thing, then you start to see that happiness is a state that you cannot enter while you are distracted by the pitfalls of wealth, the longing for wealth, the disappointment of not obtaining that wealth, or dealing with the consequences of trying to attain wealth.

In the world today, happiness has been hijacked, or rather, the definition of happiness has been hijacked in a way that is prevalent and pervasive. We see the idea of happiness limited to the fleeting nature of consumerism and the physical feeling of bliss. There is really nothing wrong with that concept. It is perfectly acceptable for a person to feed their desires of feeling. After all, they are already within us. The confusion and the long-term definition according to Stoicism is that it can get to the point of being a considerable distraction to the efforts and actions that one needs to take to reach that level of peace and happiness.

As a parent we must teach our children the importance of money of course, but the intrinsic value gained from the happiness and joy of helping others will lead to a more fulfilled life for your children.

Stay blessed everyone and have a great day.

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Smacking your kids

Is there a bigger cultural taboo in parenting than the issue of smacking your children? I will often hear parents say, and I’ve been guilty of muttering the words myself “a good smack never harmed me” and it’s true, growing up if I was ever out of line ( I know hard to believe I was ever naughty) I and my siblings would get a smack round the ear or a slipper to the backside, did we we behave after it? You’re damn right we did, only long enough for the memory to fade of course but behave we did. Moving from the 90s to the late 00s though it appears that the regular practice of parent(s) disciplining their children with a smack has become a cultural no no, we are even divided in my own house, my wife believes that smacking your children is not the way to go, where as I am more in line with “well it didn’t kill me” 

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

Speaking to dads on this matter we seem to be divided into two camps, those that were never smacked and those that were, if you were given a little smack as a naughty youngster then growing into adulthood it seems as though you are soundly of the mindset that if it doesn’t kill you it makes you stronger. 

Now of course when I use the word smack I’m hardly talking Mike Tyson vicious right hook,  but it’s my belief that as a growing human you need to understand the consequences of your actions.

Experts will tell you that the way to deal with a naughty child is with time or charts, I will tell you that that is BS, sitting on the naughty step becomes a game, reward charts just become calculated behaviour in order to get a reward but a slap on the arse when you have been naughty will make sure the child knows that they do that again and another slap might be coming their way. 

Interested to know what anybody else thinks, like I mentioned me and my wife are diametrically opposed on this issue and who’s to says who’s right? What I can tell you is Nardo is less well behaved for his mother than he is for me. 

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