Watching my father in law open his socks and pack of liquorice on Christmas Day then watching my mother in law open her hundreds of pounds worth of presents it got me thinking… it got me thinking, can it be possible that nobody really cares about dad?  Now of course I’m being facetious when I say that, of course you care about your Dad, but because we just assume men are “ok” is it safe to assume that some men think that nobody cares about them???

A study I have read shows that 40% of children are brought up in a broken home, why Is it so easy for some dads to walk away?  I know my own dad walked away when I was born, he made little or no effort to get to know me as an adult before skulking off back into the shadows, but why is It so easy??? Personally, I couldn’t think of anything worse in my life than not being able to see my son each day, but 40% of children are brought up in a home that is broken. Here is a thought, could it be that Dads think they matter not therefore if I’m here or not what does it matter, its inconceivable that a mother would leave right? but why not a Dad?

Being a new Dad, I now fully understand the pressure of having to provide for your family. I was made redundant back in 2020 just one week before the country went into a National lockdown, However I was lucky enough to walk into a new role and ended up starting my own business this year (that’s another story) but so many Dads around the country have not been so lucky. Is it any wonder that suicide in men aged between 25-45 is at a 20-year high? It Is also the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45. Men are 3 times more likely to kill themselves than women, BUT why don’t we talk about it? I could imagine if said to one of my mates I wasn’t feeling great they would just tell me to man up and get on with it, comical really? But that’s the truth of it isn’t it???

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

In this world there is a huge stigma attached to men talking about mental health issues, when I think about the topic of conversations I have with my friends, it’s usually football, work, movies and if I’m with one of my best friends Pascual it’s probably about Roman antiquities or Ancient Greece. As I sit here now racking my brains about what we usually talk about, I don’t recall a time that I was asked, or asked anyone else “are you ok?” In this masculine society why is it not ok to be ok?? Only we can change this, you never know how just simply asking somebody if they are ok could impact that person’s life for the better, that simple question alone may just be enough to show someone you care.

One of my best friends killed himself in 2005 it completely ripped me apart, for years I wondered what I could have done to change what happened, the harsh reality is probably nothing, but lads let’s start talking to each other. If you’re still reading this I challenge you now to message 3 of your friends and simply say “Hiya mate how are you” if your dad is still around ask him too.

If you are struggling with mental health there is help out there I’ve come across some really good websites like:

https://youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

What is CALM?

Whilst I am not a trained professional If somebody feels like they want to talk or message then you can always message me for a confidential chat.

5 Comments

  1. Great read Marco, and thank you for opening up an avenue to have this topic discussed about properly and without the self evaluation of today’s society and how men should feel.

    Like

  2. Fantastic blog and raise some valid questions! I can’t remember the last time I asked a male friend “are you ok?” But female friends all the time.

    Like

  3. Nice blog mate and definitely very topical. I’m sure it will strike a chord with young and old dads / men!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s