Pretending

Stop pretending; We go through life on this tiny rock flying through space pretending to be who we are, showing the world a face ,a side ,a persona that isn’t true to you. Most of us never find that happiness that comes from being ones true self, we are always searching for that something else “if I only I got XXXX I could be that, if only I had XXXX I could get that, if XXXX didn’t happen to me I would of made this of my life” it’s human nature to want what we don’t have, most people don’t take any accountability for their own life choices, everything is always somebody else’s fault. 

  • You didn’t graduate from University because somebody died,
  • You didn’t make it as a footballer because because you got injured,
  • You didn’t get the job because the managers hired their friend,

Excuses after excuse.. you didn’t get it because you didn’t work hard enough, plain and simple. Stop pretending, stop living a lie be happy with what you have got and if you can’t be happy with what you have, then change it.

Many of us are not successful by the definition they take from others, yet are wholly successful from what they want in life, when we actually look at it. 

For some people a teacher doesn’t represent success, most teachers doesn’t drive a nice car or live in a big house, but for that teacher the greatest gift in life to them is too teach! You see, stop projecting your idea of success on others, you know nothing of their circumstances their dreams or their drive. 

Stop pretending life is perfect when you know deep down its not, life is about moments, and if your living this fantasy life you may miss your moment, in life there are moments when opportunities present themselves, you just have to take that leap of faith and jump. 

Spot your opportunity, I took my mine I stopped pretending, I saw my window and I changed my story… My life was mapped out much differently to the one I live now, I grew up in a council house and left school with no real qualification, my first few years of work saw me working in Tesco and factories around Grantham, if im truly honest my life sucked! But I decided this can’t be my life, I told myself “I am destined for greatness”

Growing up success for me looked like a 40k salary, a Mercedes and a house I owned, I’d look at that pictures and say wow.. I have exceed my expectation and some, but because I saw my window and went for it. I don’t write this to brag or willie wave, but to show you can change the destiny of your story. 

Sometimes life beats you up, knocks you down and that’s ok because it’s what we do after that struggle that defines us, many of us take those knocks sit and cry but I chose to fight. 

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Dad of the year competitions drive me mad!

Yeah I said it, Dad of the year competitions drive me mad, in fact what I wanted to write didn’t make it past the edit.

In my opinion every dad present and trying their best is dad of the year, being a dad is tough! Nobody or anything prepares your for it, the pressure you put on yourself let alone what the world or your family expect from you can sometimes be crippling. I often find myself cringing in despair when I hear celebrities that often have 2 or 3 nannies talk about “oh it’s a real struggle bringing up children” give me a break! My wife watches one of the real housewives programmes and yes! I mean my wife this isn’t one of those “I’ve got a friend” situations, and I was painstakingly watching it with her one day ( I think I’d finished putting up all the shelves in the house or changed all the lightbulbs) when I heard this woman  who had six nannies for two children! Yes that’s right six nannies for two children, two for the morning two for the afternoon / evening and two for the night, this woman was talking about how bringing up her children was a real struggle!! Honestly give me a break, that woman wouldn’t know struggle if it fell out of a tree and smacked her in the face.

Being a dad is hard graft, in fact being a parent is hard graft, you don’t need a shiny trophy to tell you that your doing a good job.. 

The greatest indicator your doing a great job is the smile on your children’s face, the roof over their head and the food in their bellies. Stop trying to beat yourself up comparing yourself to other dads, I’m doing a podcast series currently where we interview dads about their experiences (the Dadsbeerclub’s podcast – available on all your podcast apps :-)) and no dad has the same story, every child is uniquely different, a gift from god. Just do your best, you will undoubtedly make mistakes, god knows I have! but learn from them – Richard Branson once said You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling

Podcast Link

So ignore the noise, I’ve said it before forget what social media tells you about being a good dad. John Terry won father of the year in 2009 while he was sleeping with his best friends mrs for petes sake! if you want any indication that you shouldn’t look outwards then look no further.

Dad your doing a great job and you need to hear it more than just Father’s Day. You are also not alone, on this journey I have heard from so many dads going through their own struggles there is support we’ve just got to talk.. remember that wise old philosopher BT that gave us the slogan “it’s good to talk” obviously I jest but the slogan is true, talking is the key that will unlock the door and reveal the light, it’s up to you to walk through. 

Check out the latest preview of my latest podcast

Men’s charities – I need your help

The year for me has started out at a bit of a whirlwind pace, lots going on with work and if I wasn’t busy enough I have decided to start sharing my brain farts on this blog as well as launching a podcast talking to dads about every day life, struggles and success’s (the dadsbeerclub’s podcast on Spotify and iTunes) This year I have really wanted to challenge myself which is why I have put in this extra time to highlight a real important issues often not talked about in todays society “men’s mental health struggles” being someone that is bent out of shape and cant easily run a 10k im pushing myself this year to run a marathon – there is a countdown to “fat boy runs a marathon” on my home page.

Photo by C Technical on Pexels.com

However I’m really struggling for a charity to raise money for this year so I was wondering if anyone has had any experience of working with or had any dealings with any men’s charites? id be keen to hear any recommendations. This year I am planning on doing a number of things with some friends and colleagues to raise money so watch this space – but first I just need to nail down the charity.

I am also open for some idea of things to do this year, the wackier the better so if you have any suggestions please let me know, or if you are yourself doing something for charity and I can get involved please let me know.